Ezra Miller and Emma Watson from “The Perks of Being A Wallflower” (2012); I SO wish I had friends like these in high school, the way their characters, Patrick and Sam, accepted and befriended Charlie, played by Logan Lerman. Photo courtesy of musingsofabookshopgirl.blogspot.com
THIS IS A REVISED VERSION OF AN ARTICLE I DID ON THE SITE HUBPAGES.COM IN 2010.
AS I FEEL THE SUBJECT MATTER IS RELEVANT TODAY AND ALWAYS WILL BE, IN LIGHT OF A NEW SCHOOL YEAR STARTING I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PLACE THIS ON THIS BLOG.
If you are a tween or a teenager who isn’t seen by others as popular or “cool”, read on…
Greetings Young People,
Assuming that my calculations are correct, you have started a new school year after a summer that I’m sure seemed to fly by.
I’m also fairly positive that many of you, if not most of you, have been dreading the start of school like the plague because you’re seen by far too many of your classmates as different in the way you look, behave, or in the way you march to the “beat of a different drummer”.
And I imagine those differences have led to some bad times.
You have probably spent years being called a “dork”, a “geek”, a “loser”, or a combination of those names.
Kids may have done some blatant harm to you such as push you into lockers or throw things at you,
The opposite gender shudders at the thought of standing anywhere near you,
And I wouldn’t be surprised if you find yourself sitting all by your lonesome at lunch, or with other so-called “geeks”.
Something that broke my heart every time I saw it, which was quite a bit during my time working in the education field. Photo courtesy of heraldsun.com.au
Or perhaps you’ve been the victim of cyber-bullying, where people have called you all sorts of vile things on the Internet for all to see, which seems to be a popular thing to do these days.
Most likely, you’re probably like I was at your age, mostly alone and lonely because you’re seen as strange; hardly anybody wants to hang with you, and the ones who do pay attention to you do so in ways that induces feelings of inferiority and other negative feelings.
Believe me when I say that during the bulk of the seven years I spent from sixth grade through my senior year of high school, I was a lot like you as for quite a bit of my first month of 10th grade I stayed home in bed because I didn’t want to be shunned or abused, which is how I felt many of my fellow students interacted with me in calling me stupid, ditching me, and letting me know in no uncertain terms that they had no desire to even get to know me, let alone become friends with me.
I know how it is to be bullied and disrespected, causing strong feelings of inferiority and depression as a result.
I would also like to let you in on something…
YOU ARE NOT INFERIOR IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM WHATSOEVER.
YOU ARE NOT A DWEEB, A LOSER, OR ANY OF THOSE NASTY ADJECTIVES.
YOU ARE A WORTHY HUMAN BEING WHO DESERVES LOVE, RESPECT, AND ACCEPTANCE FOR THE PERSON YOU ARE.
Just because you don’t look or act “cool” does not mean there’s anything wrong with you.
I remember when I was a P.E. teacher, there was this ten-year old girl who was made fun of regularly and considered by her classmates as a so-called “geek”. I went up to this girl one day before class after someone had dissed her and said,
“Don’t worry, they’ll be working for you some day.”
Which is often the case as the ones who were so-called “nerds” in school are oftentimes the ones accomplishing great things as adults with their seven and eight figure bank accounts, going to their class reunions in stretch hummer limousines.
I think it should go without saying that the world would be a better place a million times over if every young person was accepted and liked by everyone else like these young folks seemingly are. Photo courtesy of pinterest.com
If you don’t believe me, try googling the name Bill Gates sometime.
What I’m trying to say is although you may be having a rough time socially in school and your world in general, know that there are people who care about you.
And not just your mom and dad, either.
Regardless of how bad things may get, please don’t do anything stupid to be “accepted” by changing your behavior to fit in with those so-called “cool kids”; trust me when I say it’s just not worth it because you’ll lose yourself and feel like a phony deep down.
Always be yourself and find friends who’ll accept you just the way you are, warts and all as believe it or not, they really do exist.
Coming from someone who was seen by too many of his peers as a so-called “dork”, please believe me when I tell you this:
YOU ARE PERFECTLY FINE AND DANDY JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
I don’t know how I can make that sentiment any clearer.
So even though life may continue to be socially difficult at times, please do your best to hang in there and stay strong.
Find somebody to talk to anytime you feel desperate or mistreated, anyone who will listen; an adult is an ideal option.
And always keep in mind that you are worthy and you matter, regardless of what those arrogant jerks and mean girls may say or do to you.
Suffice it to say, I wish you nothing but the best for this school year – and beyond!
I like this picture, an image of how things should be. Photo courtesy of scattergood.org