GOD, CHRIST, & BEING A CHRISTIAN: Some Questions About Things I Don’t Understand




For what I suppose has been the bulk of my life, there have been things I have never understood regarding God, his son Jesus Christ, and being a Christian that I have never understood – and still don’t.

At least not completely.

Which even though I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior has always hindered me somewhat in my life, trying to follow God, living a good Christian life, and in my faith in Him.

For the past few years I have watched evangelist Joyce Meyer’s “Enjoying Everyday Life” on television – as well as studying the Bible since the beginning of this year – in which she has said that one should not try to figure everything out with regards to God, his plan, and why things are the way they are, but rather to have a faith so strong that one would not need to know everything, but to simply trust God in absolutely all things.

I had heard that message before, and I couldn’t help but think this in response, a question that, though not as prominent as in the past, remains in my head:

*  If God doesn’t like us to try and figure everything out, does that mean He wants us to be stupid and ignorant?

I can’t believe that God wants us to be dumb, but sometimes it seems that way judging from what I have heard and what people have told me.

There are quite a few other things that I have always questioned as far as the Lord was concerned, going back to when I was (I guess) in my late teens and throughout my twenties and thirties.

Now being in my about-to-be late forties, these questions are still swimming in my head.

I’m not going to waste any more time; here are those questions, which if anyone had any answers, insights or speculations to them I would appreciate:

As we all know, God knew about everything that was going to happen before it happened, or before He made it happen.

So if that were the case…

*  Why did God create the Earth, if He knew all the bad things that would come to pass on that planet?

*  Why did God create people, if He knew that Satan was going to influence them to commit that original sin in that Garden of Eden?

And speaking of Satan, it’s commonly known that his original name was Lucifer, who God created to be his right-hand angel/second in command in Heaven.

So if God knew that Lucifer was going to stage a massive rebellion against God, take a third of the angels in Heaven with him and become master of all that’s evil and woeful in Hell…

*  Why did God create Lucifer in the first place?

*  And why didn’t God just blast him and his followers, wipe them out of existence with one big stroke, when they staged their big rebellion?

I am convinced that if God had done that, it would saved the Earth and all of His creations, especially people, so much turmoil, suffering, and just plain bad times over thousands of years.

There certainly would have been no snake to tempt Eve with that apple in that Tree of Good and Evil as was described in the beginning of the Book of Genesis, and the Earth would have a perfect paradise, an extension of Heaven, today.

We would even be walking around naked like Eve and her man Adam.

I hope folks don’t misunderstand – it’s not my intention to commit any blasphemy by asking these questions, and I dearly hope that no one thinks that I am, or anything else negative.

I want to make clear that I accept the Lord as my savior. I want to get close to him, or closer than I am, but these are questions that have, well…

I won’t say that I have been tortured by them, but they have been in my mind for some time.

I also fully understand that according to God, from what I’ve heard there are some things that, as a Christian, one shouldn’t try to understand. If these questions are among them, so be it. I won’t abandon my faith in the Lord.

I know that He loves me, wants good things for me, and has a great plan for my life, which I’ll always be most grateful for.

But if anyone has any answers to these questions I have asked here, even in speculation, that would be fine, too.



Somebody’s rendition of what Heaven looks like…



A Testimony of Sorts: Owning Up To My Sins



A Litany of My Sins, Flaws, and Shortcomings; Being Guilty of Such


It’s been a while since I last posted in this blog, so I thought I’d write about something that deep down, I know I should write.

About two or three years ago, thanks to evangelist Joyce Meyer and her TV show “Enjoying Everyday Life”, which I started watching because my brother had it on often and I found myself watching it because of her plain-spoken, down home, charismatic style in spreading the Gospel, I recited the prayer of salvation when she asked her audience to stand up if they wanted to receive Christ and get saved.

Which according to the Word means that like those thousands of people on her show, I am saved as I firmly believe that Jesus is my Lord and Savior who died on the cross for me and my sins.

While it’s not my intention to give my official testimony here, over the time that I’ve been watching Joyce on TV, reading her devotionals on her website every day, and have partaken in Bible study when I can – I took her “30-for-30” challenge, studying the Book of Proverbs and much of the Psalms 30 minutes a day for 30 days, in January – I’ve felt closer to God and, though I have had my weak moments, believe that God loves me and have displayed a better attitude in my life (though I have  some ways to go as like Joyce says, “you’re not where you need to be but thank God you’re not where you used to be!”).

I’ve also, through my Bible studies, realized once and for all my shortcomings and the sins and flaws that have plagued me throughout my life, which I also realize has little to do with having the high functioning form of autism affecting social interaction known as Asperger’s Syndrome as people who don’t have that disorder are also guilty of these flaws and sins and which although it is a legitimate disability and reason I have used as a crutch too many times for my behavior.

According to the Gospel, without going into too many details here’s what I’m guilty of:

1. Pride

2. Rejecting/not accepting criticism – Which is the root for my less than stellar employment history, particularly the past six years of working for other people.

3. Selfishness/demanding my own way – Boy, was I guilty of this for a long time, especially in my youth and up to (I dare say) my thirties.

4. Not being open to new ideas – Which is an Asperger’s trait, digging in to whatever is comfortable for me and not being flexible, but is not an excuse.

5. Not enduring adversity

6. Rejoicing when my enemy is in trouble – One “enemy” from my youth in particular, who I won’t name; man did I feel a sense of vindication and “revenge” when I heard what had happened to this person.

7. Holding my tongue – As many times I’ve been told to shut up over the years due to me saying inappropriate things; another part of Asperger’s, but still…

8.  Not using good judgement – Another source of my difficult times in the workforce.

9.  Gluttony –The fact that I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, am prone to high blood sugar, and have been working hard to correct that through medication and exercise for the past several months is the price I’m still paying for this.

10. Being a “skilled rebel”

11. Trusting only myself – And not God, which I freely admit I’m still working on.

As is the case with the other things on this list, which is a pretty long one as you can see.

When I saw and realized all these shortcomings,  I wasted no time in making like a defendant pleading guilty to his crimes in court and telling God how sorry I was for all of these shortcomings of mine.

I also didn’t waste any time in begging God to forgive me, I felt so bad about it all.

Though I know I’ve been forgiven, I still feel pangs of guilt for all the times I was a jerk to people and for all the sins and flaws I’ve listed above.

I’m sure another root of this is having a feeling of “what’s the use” when I read and heard as a kid one of Jesus’ commandments during his Sermon on the Mount:

“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”   Matthew 5:48

Being a youngster at the time, I obviously thought that meant never, ever making any mistakes whatsoever, that any little misstep meant a one-way ticket straight to hell; I was convinced, for a long time, that that’s what being a Christian meant.

Thankfully Joyce Meyer, through her show, showed otherwise, clearing things up for me when she stated that “being perfect”, according to Jesus, doesn’t mean never making mistakes, because we all make them, but rather striving to be the best person and Christian you can be.

In other words, it was okay to make mistakes, as God will forgive if you ask Him. Which I have and continue to do as I have made plenty of mistakes and showed plenty of my flaws in recent times, and as much as I don’t want to will probably continue to do.

The fact that God, as Joyce has also said (though I’m sure not in these exact words), “knows every mistake you’re going to make, and loves you and will forgive you anyway,” has helped my mentality, which of course I’m thankful for.

Not that I’m a finished product in Christ, not by the longest of shots; I know full well that I have so far to go, especially in the area of trust and perseverance, and the missteps that I still make.

And I still have some faith and gospel-type questions that I prefer to not get into here.

But I’m glad that I’m not where I was.

And I’m also glad that I have a better understanding of God, how he loves me and, according to the Word:

“…will never leave (me) nor forsake (me)”  Deuteronomy 31:8

I’m positive that piece of scripture has helped me to carry on.