A good picture, because this is how I wrote my first draft of “WALKING ON EGGSHELLS”. Photo courtesy of nytimes.com.
IN A NUTSHELL:
Last week I finished editing and rewriting chapter one of WALKING ON EGGSHELLS, having done the same thing to the prologue a few weeks earlier.
It’s the third rewrite of my book, I believe, as after editing the second rewrite it was pretty obvious that it needed to be done.
I’m taking at least one day a week to work on it, two if I feel up to it as I want to avoid burn out which will, at least hopefully, keep it on pace for self-publication by next June 1st.
Which I’ve decided is the target date for this book depicting my largely bad experiences of having Asperger’s Syndrome and being on the Autism Spectrum Disorder being finished and published.
Like any other editor, I’m planning to make changes and cuts as one of my prominent thoughts during this process is, “How can I make this more precise and straightforward and a better read?”
Included in those cuts is possibly an entire new chapter to replace a chapter I have (I’m not sure which one yet), which I’ll call “Left Behind” as a big part of having Asperger’s is feeling that I’ve been left behind on a lot of life’s milestones.
I’ve mentioned how I didn’t want an outsider telling me that this sentence stinks or this passage needs to be cut or that paragraph needs to be changed, preferring to do those things myself.
It’s not because I think editors are bad or the enemy, but rather with my aspie mindset – as messed up and wrong as it may seem – I find it too difficult to have someone not me telling me that what I’ve written is bad, what to write and what not to write.
No matter how well-intentioned they seem.
As I’ve said, at the risk of sounding arrogant (my apologies if it does as that is not my intent),
No one knows my book better than me.
That’s why I’ve chosen the “Lone Wolf” path in this writing process.
I love this picture, for obvious reasons. Photo courtesy of abc3340.com
Musings, based what has been happening in this country, on what seems to be a nadir on relations between races, cultures, and ethnic groups in this country with no end in sight.
Like seemingly every other black male of African descent in these United States, I have been the target of negativity solely based on my skin color.
I have been called the “N” word, particularly as a young boy in Riverside, CA, where the then-rural community I lived in (Woodcrest) featured numerous Caucasian folks of European descent from places like Arkansas, Oklahoma and Texas.
I have been denied jobs solely because of my skin color, notably when I was in my early 20s and a lady, upon laying her eyes upon me and giving a less-than enthusiastic reaction after such an enjoyable conversation on the phone, told me that the job I was seeking had already been filled.
I have felt ostracized in various places throughout my adult years.
And I have been the target of racial profiling as I was stopped by the police in Santa Monica, CA, where I lived for over twenty years, on at least four occasions, being handcuffed during one of them in front of my house due to me fitting the description of a stalker; if I didn’t show them my ID, I probably would have spent a few years in jail for something I did not do.
So when I heard about the latest killings of unarmed black men by police in Minnesota and Louisiana and what was apparently a retaliatory strike in Dallas with the lives of those five cops being snuffed out by Micah Xavier Johnson during a Black Lives Matter protest, my thoughts were varied…
Something that will hopefully induce hope: Cat Stevens’s (now Yusuf Islam’s) classic song “Peace Train”
First: None of this was anything new as African-American men have been unnecessarily killed by authority figures for as long as African-Americans have existed in America.
Second: Those cops who murdered Alton Sterling in Baton Rouge and Philando Castile in the Minneapolis area, like pretty much every other cop who has committed similar acts before, will not be charged with any crime and will essentially get off free and clear.
Third: It seems like race relations have plummeted and are at their lowest point in decades during Barack Obama’s presidency, as statements and efforts from conservative whites, in politics and elsewhere, to discredit our 43rd Commander-In-Chief have abounded.
Not to mention the rise in racist incidents at colleges like the universities of Oklahoma and Missouri.
Fourth: As I have written in an article on Hubpages.com, despite the efforts and labors of icons like Martin Luther King and the advances that the Civil Rights Movement produced, there remains a certain amount of self-separation between races and ethnic groups due to cultural differences, a natural desire for people to interact based on what they have in common, and a notion that differences often breed discomfort, which breeds distrust.
I remember writing that no matter how many “I Have A Dream” speeches are made or how many times “We Shall Overcome” is sung, you can’t force a racist – in any color – to not be one.
You can’t force someone who thinks folks of different races are inferior, created to be subservient and who need to be “in their place”, to feel differently.
And you can’t force someone – black, white, Latino, or Asian – who vehemently frowns over racially mixed couples to suddenly embrace them.
Why can’t we all get along like these two sweet little girls? Photo courtesy of blackyouthproject.com
Fifth: This is something that has been in my mind for a while.
Based on all the current protest marches and confrontations between (mostly) white police and (mostly black and Latino) demonstrators, not to mention the riots that have resulted after incidents like this in the past,
I cannot help wondering if we are on the brink of a second Civil War.
A war not between the states, but a war between the races.
Judging from the comments I have read in articles regarding race that I have read online and the various statements from conservative whites (and African-Americans like Stacey Dash), one may well think such as I can’t help feeling that all it would take is one riot,
One skirmish between blacks and police that gets out of control,
One instance of some conservative white person who may be among some anti-Black Lives Matter counter demonstrators, who says the wrong thing and is attacked and (probably) killed by folks who are fed up, triggering an all-out brawl,
And you may well have the first battle of a race war, a Fort Sumter in a sense.
I also can’t help wondering if a hundred years from now, the dreams of racists will come true and America will be separated on the basis of color due to an impasse, the leaders conceding that the longtime racial animosities will never be solved and – like a divorcing couple or the Hindus and Muslims during the partition of India and Pakistan in 1947 (much to Mahatma Gandhi’s dismay) – the best solution being a formation of separate countries.
Of course it’s my sincere hope that this scenario will never come to pass, but…
Sometimes it’s a little difficult to be completely hopeful based on these recent and ongoing racial incidents and unrest.
However, I do know this:
Killing police officers will not do anything to stop racial profiling and murder of blacks by law enforcement.
Neither will rioting as if that were the case, attacks on people of color would have ended nearly 100 years ago.
I’m honestly not sure what the answer is – besides love and loving one another according to what Jesus Christ commands – but…
As Marvin Gaye once sang, war is NOT it.
I suppose that’s all I have to say about all of this, at least for now.
Group of diverse teenagers standing together and smiling for the camera. Horizontal shot. Love this shot, too! Photo courtesy of ojaialano.wordpress.com
A good image of how I’ve spent much of my waking hours for nearly a decade now. Photo courtesy of litabi.com
LAMENTATIONS OF TWO YEARS OF HAVING THIS BLOG
I reckon it’s true…
Time really does fly by.
I know it’s a bad cliché, but it also really does seem like yesterday that I was commemorating one year of this website.
In fact, the past few weeks have been full of commemorations as far as this Hartland Chronicles site is concerned as I’ve marked my birthday, written my 100th article, and am now – as of today as my first post was on July 7th, 2014 – marking my second anniversary of having my own blog.
I suppose it’s a good accomplishment and milestone, as I’ve been writing online for the past eight and a half years on various royalty and sports sites and merely felt that it was time to do my own thing and start my own site.
I’ve voiced my opinion on many topics, ranging from Asperger’s Syndrome and the progress of “WALKING ON EGGSHELLS”, my book detailing my experiences of having that form of autism in a non-autistic world (going OK) to movie reviews (specifically the Hunger Games series),
To stating my experiences and opinions on education and the teaching profession,
To political and racial issues,
To being a Christian,
To offering final farewells to folks I admire like Robin Williams, Prince, and Muhammad Ali.
Not to mention detailing the health scare that I went through in October of 2014, a scare that changed how I did things in my life.
Some may say that what I’ve been doing is not too much different from having a journal or a diary; indeed, before I immersed myself in the ways of the internet I kept a journal, writing about my life and my day-to-day experiences and happenings, for a ten-year period – 1993 to 2003 to be precise.
I realize today that it was essentially a diary, only I had no objections to sharing what I wrote.
I like to think that my writing has evolved since that time as when I look at what I wrote in those notebooks back then, as well as the stuff I did online for sites like Hubpages and Bleacher Report, I want to completely rewrite and overhaul more or less all of them, they seem so self-indulgent and “poor me” as far as my articles on Hubpages and Triond and too “rah-rah” as far as my sports posts are concerned.
I think my writings are better now, more objective and a little less emotional – except when it’s an emotional and/or personal issue, of course.
As for the future…
I don’t have any major plans for Hartland Chronicles as this blog is not going anywhere; though my sports fan blog, SoCal Sports Annals (here’s the link: http://www.socalsportsannals.wordpress.com) gets much attention and a certain priority as it’s my business for all intents and purposes,
Hartland Chronicles serves a good purpose as it’s my way of expressing myself, getting my thoughts and feelings about topics and issues – personal and otherwise – out there and letting the world know that a (by American society’s standards) middle-aged African-American man with a high functioning form of Autism Spectrum Disorder named Derek Hart existed.
This site, my SoCal Sports Annals blog, and my WALKING ON EGGSHELLS book will be, for lack of a better term, the legacies that I will leave after I’m dead and cremated with my ashes scattered.
Which I hope is a long time from now.
In the meantime, I’ll go ahead and feel a sense of accomplishment over HartlandChronicles.com celebrating its two-year anniversary.
As well as look forward to its three-year birthday next July 7th.
I don’t know what my mental and emotional state would be like if I wasn’t able to do this. Photo courtesy of proficientwriters.com
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